So I've already said the well done's for scratch night. I'll give some feedback when next in, there isn't much as I really enjoyed it. I'm posting some ideas and thoughts re debt.... and a few more jokes! sorry! First for the jokes and may I say how difficult it is to make up jokes..
A model agency was struggling financially so they had to make an appointment at the bank. The bank manager said he could definitely help but first he would have to see their a-rrears and assets!
If you're thinking of setting up your own business. The best area to get into profit-wise is the balloon trade as inflation is the highest possible there.
A rapper in the street had complaints due to his negative lyrical content about debt and recession. When questioned about this he replied "It's a Bank-rap-see!"
Another rapper also had complaints of his lyrics about dog owners who should be heavily fined for not clearing up their dog mess, he also stated "it's a Ban-crap-see!"
A sole trader was struggling to make a decent living, eventually he had to sell his shoes to get by.
A new law has been passed that fairgrounds are now deemed to be places of gambling. Those who participate in side shows failing to throw rings onto hats properly will now have inter-rim orders placed on them.
I went to a debt collector's gambling meeting and placed a bet on the roulette. When my number came up the croupier said that I'd lost, when I asked him why I'd lost, he replied
"because you've landed in the red".
The illiterate bank manager was delighted when records from the colonic hydrotherapy clinic were accidently sent in error to the bank showing a raise in anal percentage rates.
A fisherman set up a stall at a car boot sale selling old items he didn't want any more. He made more money on his fishing equipment because he got a net profit.
The same fisherman went to his local casino to spend his earnings. When he asked the dealer a place for his chips, the dealer replied
"certainly Sir, would you like salt and pepper with that?" (plaice and chips).
I know some of my jokes are a bit fishy but hey, they might end up on a penguin wrapper one day
(I don't know what that's got to do with the price of fish though).
Gambling is an area we haven't explored yet. I was wondering if we could explore what happens to people when they get into debt? financially, mentally and how it changes people's lives.
I've recently received these text messages and thought I'd include them here, word for word:
Your credit records show that you still have an outstanding debt and we will need to write off at least 70%, for us to do this ASAP reply DEBT
+447590855462
Records show you can get a large cash sum NOW from your pension?! We can issue the payment ASAP. To get it sent out now reply CASH
+447912122041
I've written a whole sketch about a financial advisor meeting a client, the whole sketch is total one liners, similar to the style of a Two Ronnies sketch. I could post on here but would be better understood if read aloud. Hope you like :)
The end... for now
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