Peter Mayo - Character Work.

Thursday's Monologue:

So, you really want to know what happened. From the beginning? Okay, if you’re sure.

I do online dating, well did. I wouldn’t give my name or picture; it was my way of keeping myself separate from that world. I still had my friends and family without the complications or the questions. I met this guy Peter on there, he seemed nice and a bit clueless, so it was an easy target to be honest. I told him to call me Thursday Afternoon, as that’s the days I wanted to see him. I did that with everyone, different days and never my name. Names and details are too personal... He met me for coffee in Starbucks- well I say coffee, I didn’t even let him grab a drink, he was already far too open with me but in a way I liked that. I felt like there were no secrets hiding in the cracks like other people I’d been with in the past. We talked through my rules, the rules I have to try and make sure I don’t slip up, over step a line or put my personal life in danger. He’s so naive and vulnerable, which meant controlling him was easier.

The next time I met with him was in my mates flat, I didn’t tell Peter it wasn’t mine until half an hour of being there- it didn’t make him leave though! He was SO clueless about everything. He told me he leant about sex from Thunderbirds-RIDICULOUS! Was kind of cute though, but he was very annoying, I just wanted to sleep with him and it to be done. We were only there for sex... but I ended up knowing more than I bargained for. He wasn’t bad in the sack though- so I’ll give him that.

I broke some of my rules... I ended up calling him... and on a Tuesday, not my usual day I know. But I had a good reason, I’d had a really shit day at work and he actually took my mind off things. He asked me if I’d been to a sex party- OBVIOUSLY I said no! I didn’t want him to know I went all the time and got so out of hand. But then he told me that he, yes he- the nervous clueless man, was having one of his own! And I actually wanted to go, I had a rule against them now, but it was Peter, he was new to this, so thought I should go for support, and obviously to get laid. Over the time I’d spent sleeping with Peter, I started to warm to him, he was trustworthy and didn’t seem to judge me, and I liked that.

So... I turn up at this party, on a Saturday night; ready for what I thought was anything and possibly anyone... except the second voice I hear when I enter says ‘Monday’ SHIT!! If Peter hadn’t already seen me I would have bolted, but I had to grin and bear it. It was Dan, my sort of ex, who unknowingly ripped my heart out three months before. He knew things about me that Peter didn’t and that worried me. And to make matters worse it was only the three of us, as from then the night just got weird. Peter suggested a threesome, which yes I’ve done plenty of times before but this was different. I wasn’t up for it, but somehow things started happening, I couldn’t control it as well as other situations and I hated that, they though I’d just be ‘Piggy in the middle’ NO thanks! Dan got very in my face and started talking about how I used to behave, it got to the point where I put my identity on the line and spilled about the lies and secret Dan’s been keeping from Peter- The secrets that actually resulted in Dan and I ending. Dan actually got all weird and emotional on Peter, and it wasn’t comfortable to watch. Things happened between them, and I felt helpless and not powerful at all, Dan then left after his confessions and it made me feel so numb, my feelings for him were gone. That was the closure I needed and it maybe meant Pete and I could actually get close, there could be something there. I felt for Peter, he looked so confused, so I decided to open up to him, tell him more about me. But as soon as I started to, he got all different on me and just wanted sex, I realised he turned into something worse than myself, and Dan, he was us- combined. I then thought I need to get out, I don’t want to fall for the wrong man again. But before I left, I decided I owed it to Peter to know my name. I mean, he knew my job and more things about me now, what was one last thing. After telling him my name, I left to let him become who he wanted to be. I haven’t heard from him since.

I don’t do it anymore, gave up with that life and its worked out better for me. I’m happier.

Three Events in Thursday’s life that had an impact on the way she is today.

-Asthma attack, dangerous.  – Live life to the full
- Wanker took virginity, not how thought it would be –Fuck it, it’s obviously not meant to be special, books lied.
- Sport injury, dad said told you so. –Women can control whole life and not be told they can’t do something. Find something good at and stick it out.

Key event- Dangerous Asthma attack:

Place: Just arrived at a party.
Who with? Lea, Nic and Rob
Why?: Inhaler ran out, out of breath and shock.

Talking to- Friends

Speech:

I thought I was going to die! My inhaler ran out the morning of the party and I thought nothing much of it, as I had a busy day of lessons then I had to get ready for the party, I had no time to go and get a new one. It didn’t even cross my mind my mind that I’d need it, and by the time of getting ready I’d completely forgotten about it. Once Lea and I were ready we met with Nic then walked to Robs, we were running late so I was a bit flustered, they told me to take it easy but I said I’d be fine. We finally got there and I was a bit out of breath, started to remember I hadn’t got my inhaler, so decided once we get in the house I’d try and rest and calm down. But as soon as we got in, I saw my ex Will with his new girl and it shocked me, more than I wanted it to, I suddenly got really short of breath, Nic tried to calm me but nothing was working. Lea moved people out of the way but I was really struggling to breath, it felt like someone was standing on my chest, it was like I was drowning. I heard people shouting and it all started to go blurry. I couldn’t do anything without my inhaler. I thought I was dying.  I passed out.
 I woke up in hospital, I felt exhausted, drained and worried. Lea said they called my mum and that she was on her way. I was just relieved I was actually alive. As for Will he can go to hell, I would have been fine if he hadn’t been there.

Anyway, I’m okay now and that’s the main thing! I have an inhaler on me all the time now and I decided I should live life to the full! I need to take chances, work hard and do something fun and out there! I don’t want this to hold me back, so I’m going to take control. I’m still going to run with my inhaler, I’m so grateful I’m alive. I’m never going to be this stupid again. I’m going to be totally in control of my life. 

Samantha